


A Quarter Short

by ostrichriderforever



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Abandonment, Angst, Betrayal, Canada is a great brother, Financial Crisis Gangbang (Hetalia), Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Justice is sorta served, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Snapped Canada (Hetalia), Victim Blaming, they dont get away with it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:08:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28509447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ostrichriderforever/pseuds/ostrichriderforever
Summary: No one knew and he'd make sure of it.He bottled it up, pretended it never happened.And it would've remained a secret if it wasn't because of Spain and the World Conference.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 43





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve never written a hetalia fanfic and I'm not as well versed with the characters as I used to be. So some of the dialogue may not sound/ be phrased like the characters. 
> 
> But I really wanted to do this prompt/challenge.
> 
> Pour down some angst and tragedy. Buckle up, folks.

Alfred doesn't remember how he got home. Maybe he walked. Maybe he’d drove. Maybe they had carried them.

The last thought made him shiver as he’d hate to think they’d continued to touch him without permission after the “meeting”

Alfred just sat in the bathtub, blankly staring at the door and waiting. 

Waiting but for what? 

Matthew to figure out what’d happen and come and make it all better?

Them to come back and extend his punishment because he hadn't paid them back for all the trouble he caused?

He just waited as the aftermath of their actions swirled down the drain, or was flushed down the toilet after forcefully coming back up with the aid of a toothbrush.

He soon got up, reluctantly, because the hot water was all gone and despite his mind being numb his body soon needed to escape from the freezing cold water pouring down on him.

He didn't put on clothes, Alfred almost felt like he didn't deserve to wear his clothes, wear America’s clothes because he’s not him.

America wouldn't have let that happen to him, he’d have overcome and shown them who’s boss. America wouldn't have let them use him like...like...like a slut. Taking it and liking it.

He had to have liked it, why else would his body react. The words England had written on his body felt like they were burned into his skin. Tainting him even more than he was already.

He stared at the ground, hair still wet and dripping, body still beaten, battered, violated. Dignity and self-respect decimated and he still didn't have an idea as to how to fix the debt he’d wracked up and the slump his economy was going through.

_ I just wanted to be the hero… _

* * *

**Months later** ….

Matthew looked at his brother, feeling something was off. Like something big had happened and he was completely blind to.

But only he seemed to notice. Then again the changes he’d noticed were tiny things. Nothing dangerous or hazardous to himself and others...in fact some were for the better.

The first thing he noticed is Alfred would sometimes wear sunglasses to the meeting and seemed glued into his jacket. The thing, no matter how hot or muggy the weather or temperature was, it stayed on. 

The next thing he noticed was how fast America would bolt from meetings, simply staying for the minimum amount of time before bolting. No longer staying after to chat or talk about his latest heroism and such. 

He was quieter and more prepared. Overly prepared for every meeting, actually. He’d have at least 3 plans (actually beneficial and well thought out plans) for each meeting. 

He also became very conscious about money. Alfred became obsessed with saving every penny possible. No longer buying the latest video game or console his nation seemed to put out every other month. Cut out buying fast food and stuff from the vending machines, saying it wasn't worth it. 

He can't even remember the last party he’d thrown, as Alfred hadn’t even had a small get together for his beloved Fourth of July holiday. 

Although, going through such a heavy financial crisis he and the 6 went through that was to be expected. 

He also seemed to avoid the other G8 unless absolutely necessary. And even then he’d have his back pressed against a surface and made sure he could see all of them. Which Matt could understand when it came to Russia and Germany even...but Italy? Japan? The last time Alfred was supposed to have a talk with Arthur, Alfred had asked him to wait outside.

No, he had begged. Canada remembered seeing tears beading in his eyes as he fidgeted and shook. 

He’d asked France if he knew what was up and the nation of love had assured him that it was due to the talk they had about the debt dilemma they were formally in. 

"Mon Cheri you worry too much! So he is more mature and you have a problem with it?"

No, he didn't have a problem with that...however this didn't seem like Alfred had matured. It seemed more like safety guards, disguised barriers he’d made to protect himself.

But from what? Did something happen at the meeting? Should he have gone?

No, Alfred would have told him if something happened...right?

Matthew glanced over at Alfred, as his twin just sat alone, checking his papers and such. Seemingly tensing up every time someone got even relatively close to him. The usually proud aura he seemed to admit seemed so synthetic and fragile.

Matthew filed his observations away for later, stacking them up as him simply being a worry wart, and took his seat at the table, ready to get the meeting over with.

Little did he know the drama and revelations he and the others would be a part of when Alfred realized he was .25 short.

* * *

_ Soon it'll begin and be over soon. I just need to get through this! _

Alfred took his seat, exhausted from all the pretending but not showing it.

He knew he'd have to fight with Arthur if he wanted to keep up the charade. 

He nearly threw up at that thought.

_ Hadn't he touched me enough? I still feel his hands on me... _

He quickly downed his glass of water, shoving the vomit quickly coming up back down. 

Because he was so lost in his thoughts he hadn't heard Antonio (Spain) talking to him.

_ Idiot! Pay attention you can't risk messing up again! _

"AMERICA!"

"I'm sorry what was that?" Alfred stifled his panic, last time someone had yelled at him...

He quickly donned a dopey grin.

"The five dollars. You said you pay me back for paying for burgers." Spain said with a smile in return.

He owed money!

That scared Alfred but he hid it. Acting like he wasn't currently scared shitless and watching Spain's every movements like a hawk.

He smiled and gave a shaky thumbs up.

"Of course! I've got your five dollars right here! I must honor the hero's code and uphold promises!" He boasted as several nations rolled their eyes.

Alfred reached into his wallet and pulled out his money.

He counted 2 dollars, 7 quarters 5 nickels 6 dimes and 15 pennies.

_ That's .25 cents short. That can't be right _ **_._ **

Alfred counted again only to get the same exact number. 

He didn't have enough 

He couldn't pay Spain back.

He was in debt!

Alfred tried to hide his shaking as he violently shook out his wallet but, as expected, the last .25 cents didn't just magically appear. 

He bit his lip as he felt the walls close in on him.

He looked up and saw people staring at him. 

_ Oh God, they know. They know I'm short! That I don't have enough! _

His eyes darted frantically from nation to nation to find much to his horror, France was staring at him.

Images of that "meeting" flashed again, how despite the many years and many memories the other nation had gleefully opted to go second. Not hesitating at all. Hell he'd exposed Alfred even more... laughing at his body.

Alfred remembered the pictures he'd taken and how Francis had slapped him. 

Strangely the slap hurt more than the pictures for blackmail or the "punishment" he'd been subjected to.

Alfred's shaking intensified as he felt it hard to breathe. His mind conjured up new horrific scenarios with the other nations, similar only more people were involved.

_ They're gonna hurt me.  _

_ They're gonna hurt me again! _

His hand started frantically searching every pocket on his person. Pulling the pockets inside out, leaving him looking cartoonish, or he would have if his eyes weren't so sunken and frantic.

Tolys (Lithuania) got up, thinking America needed a comforting pat on the shoulder. However, that only made Alfred's nerves worse. Making them spike drastically as he threw himself from his seat. He needed to get away from the hands.

_ hands that will hold me down. _

_ Did England bring the spreader bar? _

_ Will it be tape again?  _

_ Will it be on the floor again, or will they use the table.  _

_ There's So many more of them.  _

  
  


"No nonono! I have the money I swear, oh fuck please! This time I have it! I'm stable now! My economy is fine!! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I didn't mean to!" Words poured from Alfred's mouth, his mind running a mile per minute.

The other nations just stared in silence and fear. Seeing the nation act so out of character over something so small? 

Many looked to others, thinking one of them would have the answer. Which some did, nine nations knew as a matter of fact.

  
  
  


"I...I-I-I can go get it right now! Please I've been good! I don't throw parties and I've stopped with the fast food! Use coupons! I swear I have the money! No stupid spending for me!"

Tears were pouring down Alfred's face as he pleaded on his hands and knees. His mind nothing but a tornado of fear, pain, hatred and sorrow.

"Please don't do it again! I'll get the funds! I'll even pay extra!"

Matthew threw himself towards his twin who was now curled up in a ball and sobbing.

Matthew, on his knees hesitantly approached his twin. Hands hovering above not sure whether he should touch him.

"Not again. Please…anything but that again!"

"Alfred…?" Matthew, still not touching him, tried not flinching when Alfred did look at him.

His eyes were like those of a wild animal, cornered, injured, and praying for a life line.

"Alf-urk!" Matthew wasn't expecting to get pounced on, Alfred latching onto him.

"Don't let them hurt me again. Don't let them Matthew! " he bawled hysterically 

Matthew cradled his brother as for the first time everyone saw what the waking giant that was Canada. 

"WHAT DID YOU DO!?" Canada basically growled. Malice dripped from his voice as he clutched his brother.

Italy was the first to crack, "I didn't want to do it! B-b-but they said it was the only way he'd learn! Cause the economic crisis he caused!"

"What?!" Matthew couldn't believe his ears, absolutely floored by what he was hearing. 

_ They blamed it ALL on Alfred!?  _

"I ASKED YOU WHAT DID YOU DO, YOU STUPID TOMATO FUCKING, INCESTUOUS COWARDLY ASS FAILURE!?"

Italy flinched but remained silent at that, not even sure he could say what he'd done. He'd been fighting himself from even admitting or acknowledging it'd happen. That he'd played a part. 

Feliciano still remembered America's face after it was done. How he'd looked at him, pleaded with him. While all he'd done was moan and wither in pleasure. 

_ But I was again nothing but a god damn coward! _

Canada just got angrier and angrier the longer he had to wait for an awnser. 

"All those who didn't attend said meeting get the FUCK OUT OF THE ROOM!"

The nations sat in complete shock but quickly bolted when Canada screamed, " **NOW!"**

The other nations quickly got out leaving behind the 9 guilty parties.

Japan.

China.

Russia.

Germany.

South Italy.

North Italy.

Britain. 

France.

Prussia. 

"What did you do!?"

China decided to step up.

"Well, we knew none of the current punishments would work having done so and yet, aru…" he shrugged before continuing, "So we decided that a more…ancient..traditional method would get the message across, aru" 

China said not an ounce of pity for the young America. Age and experience had made his empathy dry up. He didn't see why it was a big deal.

"Besides it worked. No more idiotic plans or solutions. The dipping into other's business is no more, aru."

"What. Did. You. Do." Canada spat out, not liking how everyone seemed to be dancing around explaining what the ancient "punishment" was or involved.

America pulled on his shoulder, getting his attention and whispering in his ear

"T-they ..

* * *

Arther looked at Alfred having remained silent this whole time with Francis. Having basically raised him they'd seen Alfred at his highest and at his lowest...but he'd never been this bad.

Not even the Great Depression had reduced him to such a state as bad as what they're seeing right now.

_ He shouldn't have botched so bad then. Sure...we all played a part but. Alfred's the one that screwed us all. There's no reason for me to feel bad...right?  _

He watched as Alfred whispered something to Matthew, the other's twin going through a range of emotions. shock, betrayal and then a look of Burning hatred.

Matthew pulled out his phone, "Hello Prime Minister...yes….I need a nuclear strike on  Japan, China, Russia, Germany, Both Italys,  Britain, France, and Prussia."

All 9 offenders let out a gasp of shock at Canada's move, Arthur actually scrambling to his feet but before he could America had already snatched the phone away and was calling it off.

"MATT! D-d-don't start a war. Please!! Don't hurt all those innocent people!" America held the phone in shaky hands, his gaze directed at the ground.

"I'm already a big enough failure of a hero…" America pushed himself away from his twin and sat curled up, his knees to his chest with his face buried into his knees. His body shivering with the occasional sniffle being all the noise to come from the distraught nation.

Matthew gently took the phone and told the prime minister to call it off. Knowing despite how disgusted and angry he was causing World War 3 wasn’t the answer. 

"Okay Alfred, okay...it'll be okay. It'll all get better." Matthew said softly before looking at the 9 others, "Get out. Leave my sight before I do something YOU'LL regret."

The nine left leaving the two behind. All a bit relieved that they needn't worry about a war breaking out at the very least.

"They'll get over and see how bloody foolish they are acting."

* * *

The world conference was postponed for 2 days before all the nations met once more.

Except with one drastic change.

America was gone and in his place sat Canada. The nation never having seemed so imposing and terrifying as it was now. It was like the singular nation had engulfed the surrounding room, saying "this is my place, so my rules, bitches."

Although extremely uncomfortable they got through the proceedings, albeit more orderly as everyone wanted to avoid remotely pissing off the Mapel leaf flagged nation.

It was almost over when several realized a new problem was added to be addressed.

Matthew stood up,"You've probably realized we have a new problem on the agenda. I put it there after finding out...how amoral and monstrous nations can be. After discovering how flimsy treaties and alliances truly are when it comes down to it. How negligent and deplorable several nations' actions have been!"

No one said a word. 

"I called in a nuclear strike."

Gasps were heard and shouts echoed before Matthew put a hand up silencing them.

"I had called in a nuclear strike in my anger, not realizing the ramifications and destruction that may cause. But after some thinking I've come to a conclusion. Unlike them, I am giving everyone a chance to speak and decide. "

"Who knows what was done in ancient times to nations that had committed huge transgressions? What was their punishment?" Matthew's face was stoic but one could feel the rage he felt at the moment.

Hercules (Greece) woke up upon hearing that before looking at the nine he'd heard stayed behind. 

"You didn't." 

Eduard (Estonia), hearing Hercules' tone picked up upon what Hercules was hinting towards," you...sick...bastards."

Soon everyone, except the younger nations like Liechtenstein and Spain, knew what Matthew was hinting at. All giving looks of disgust at the 9 guilty nations.

"Japan, China, Russia, Germany, Both Italys,  Britain, France, and Prussia you are no longer allowed to interact with me besides in trading and other such business. I'm only doing this cause AMERICA pleaded that I not punish your citizens for your vile actions. Otherwise, you are not to contact me on any other things. We are no longer friends and barely allies." Matthew looked at France and Britain when saying this. His eyes hazy with tears at their betrayal.

"I second that, China you know for a FACT we banned such methods before you were older than 430 years old. Disgraceful." Greece had to resist punching at least one of them.

He was leaning on the side of decking Northern Italy, for trying to pass the blame and make himself seem like the victim. 

One by one the others opted to do as Canada and Greece had chosen. Punish the perpetrators but not their people. Even the neutral nations agreed.

None of them could believe what'd happen. What America had endured. How well he'd had them duped. 

Greece made sure to announce he'd be telling others that hadn't attended the meeting of what'd happen. Letting the 9 know, like they'd done to Alfred, they were trapped and helpless. 

Like Alfred, they were stripped of their honor.

Like Alfred they'd be brutally fucked over by those they used to label friends and family.

  
  


Everyone filtered out leaving behind the nine and Canada.

"Matthew, the bloody hell are you saying!? You can't be serious!"

"Oh, but I am Britain, I wasn't there for my brother in his hour of need. But I sure as hell will be at his side now. Maybe one day I'll be able to look at you like I did once and maybe not. All that matters is," Matthew walked to the door,"You have no one else to blame but yourselves. 

***SLAM***


	2. Epilogue: Even a Hero needs rescuing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just Watched the ending of supernatural. I need to leave these boys on a high note.
> 
> And Coffeebeanboix and other reviews pushed me over the edge!
> 
> And I don't hate any of the characters, I'm just trying to write what the characters are thinking and stuff.
> 
> I ALSO DO NOT THINK ANY ONE NATION IS BETTER THAN THE OTHERS IN CANADA'S SPEECH. I SWEAR TO GOD, I'M NOT A NATIONALIST!! 
> 
> You'll see what I mean. I swear on my father's grave. 
> 
> I'm sorry if my portrayal is offensive to anyone. I have no means to offend. This is just fanfiction.

America bolted awake in a sweaty mess.

Another nightmare 

always the same.

Same table. Same people. Same torture.

He hated it. He wished for the days where he'd dream of him and Captain America fighting the ghost of Redskull. Or how he'd be the daring action hero drifting through the streets of Tokyo, or the underground in a badass car. 

But no, those were ripped away from him just like a lot of things that day.

***RRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIINNNNNGGGG***

America nearly screamed 

_ Oh the phone...where are my glasses? _

Alfred quickly found them and answered his cell just before it went to voicemail.

"Hello?"

"Alfred! It's me, Tolys! Listen, I wanna apologize for touching you last meeting."

"That's all r-""I didn't know it'd trigger you."

Alfred felt the temperature in the room freeze yet he felt his forehead start to sweat and his lungs clench up. "What?"

"Listen, you don't have to worry anymore, everyone is and has written off the nine bastards. We’re all standing by Canada and you. None of us stand for what was done to you, kay."

Alfred nodded before realizing he was on a phone and said "okay" as normally as possible.

"I...I need...I'm really tired. I'll...I'm...I really appreciate you guys." Alfred said and hung up before Lithuania (Tolys) said anything else.

  
  


He sat completely frozen as he processed his conversation.

He quickly grabbed a pillow, needing something to hold on to so he didn't dig into his skin. He rocked back and forth as Tolys words replayed in his head

_"Listen, you don't have to worry anymore,_ ** _everyone is and has written off the nine bastards._** **_None of us stand for what was done_** _to you, kay."_

**_Everyone is and has written_ ** _ off the  _ **_nine bastards._ ** _ None of us stand for  _ **_what was done to you_ ** _ , kay." _

**_everyone._ **

**_nine bastards._ **

**_done to you_ **

"Everyone knows."

America barely made it to the trashcan before throwing his guts up.

"Everyone knows what happened. Who did it." He gasped out in a scratchy voice.

_ What else did they know!? _

_ They don't agree with what happened!? What part!? The violation or his body's betrayal!? _

"Oh God! They'll know I...I...I"

Alfred remembered his willful begging to Britain and the label he'd written on his chest. The spontaneous euphoria he'd gotten from their action. 

_ I truly am disgusting.  _

They know how many! They know he was so weak he let "it" happen 9 times! That he was so pathetic he couldn't break some goddamn tape!

"THEY KNOW GODDAMN NORTHERN ITALY TOOK ME!!! 

And that freaks the biggest cowardly and apparently incestuous bitch to exist. 

"THEY ALL KNOW BOTH JAPAN AND CHINA AT ONCE..."

Alfred threw up again despite his stomach being empty. Alfred began hyperventilating, as his mind spiraled and spiraled.

He's definitely gonna be viewed as way too weak to be a superpower!

He can't lose that! They'd already taken away all the pride and honor he had for himself!

They can't rob him of what was held for him by others! 

But, the rose colored glasses had shattered and now they saw what he'd become. Been reduced to...

A fucking guilty slut.

The adjectives Russia had used when he took "his turn" reverberated in his ears. As the place the markered words were written burned.

He both wanted to rip off all his clothes but also bundle up even more. He'd been exposed. 

Tears rolled down Alfred's face as he lay on his side in a ball.

"Haven't I had enough done to me!?"

_ I was violated  _

_ I was humiliated  _

_ And now…I've been exposed. _

* * *

***SMASH!***

“YOU STUPID MAPEL SYRUP DRINKING SON OF A BITCH!” 

Canada ducked as another lamp was hurtled at him by America. The other nation having figured out he was the snitch in the situation. 

"Alfred! I know! I didn't-"

"I FUCKIN TRUSTED YOU!" Alfred looked for another thing to throw when his body just opted to go back to sobbing. With the last of his strength he bolted into the bathroom and locked the door. Instantaneously his body seemed to lose all its strength and slump to the floor. His knees to his chest and his arms around them while his back pressed against the door.

He didn't know he had so much water available to cry as much as he has these days.

Canada knew he deserved this

While punishing the villains, Canada had inadvertently hurt America.

"Al, please….I never ever meant to hurt you." Canada said as he sat right outside the bathroom, he too was crying.

  
  


"Well you did! You fucking unmasked me! I rather be looked at as a maniac than a god damn victim!" Alfred wiped his tears only for more to flow, "I don't want them to see what I really am! Weak! Ugly!..."

"No! I...I'm not like you Alfred. I'm not as strong as you."

Alfred went to object but Matthew cut him off.

"It's true! I never had the guts to go against Britain! I got my independence from a stupid fuckin paper! But you...you...you fought. You fought with basically nothing and kicked Britain's ass into submission!" 

"You've survived more shit than ANY of the older nations! You survived being ripped apart intentionally by your own people! You've pulled yourself out of the worst fucking depression any one of us have seen!"

"When Japan AND Germany wouldn't back down you beat them into submission! While I fade to the background you seem to just...shine."

"No! I'm annoying and I just fucking butt into things! My people annihilated entire ethnicities! I've STOLEN PEOPLE! I've taken and taken and never give back. I'm the shittiest nation ever. I deserved what happened!" America choked through tears.

"NEVER SAY THAT! NO ONE DESERVES TO EXPERIENCE THAT! NO ONE EVER!" Canada screamed as he pressed his forehead against the door, "I wasn't there that day. I wasn't there when you needed me. But fuck! I'm gonna be here even if you don't want me! I know you, I know your strength and your determination and...know this isn't gonna break you! Because you are and always will be a hero!" 

That hit Alfred hard, taking his breath away. 

"Wha…"

"A hero, Alfred! You have every Goddamn right to roll out your army and destroy them for what they did! What they've done...but you...you carried it! You bore it ALL so everyone would remain united!"

Canada fell backwards on his knees, looking at the ceiling,  "Al p-p-please don't lock me out. Please...yo-*hic*-u don't have to b-bare this alone anymore. It wasn't your fault. It never was...please Al," Canada didn't even know what he was saying at this point, his mouth moving separate of his brain. 

He was so busy sobbing that he didn't hear the door unlock, nor Alfred crawl over.

Alfred hugged his brother, for the first time since the incident initiating physical contact.

The two sat on the floor, just crying. All the words unsaid escaping in the form of tears. Gripping each other so tight their fingers turned white. Matthew rocked the both of them back and forth. 

  
  


"I'm so scared Matt."

"I am too, you have every right to..."

"I just want everything to go back to what it once was."

"I know...and we'll get there. Together. Just don't shut me out...please don't shut me out."

After a few minutes Matthew heard Alfred mutter into the shoulder he'd buried his face in, "I won't."

* * *

The first year and a half had been rocky, Alfred  **justified** had a lot to work through. At first he became a shut in and drank constantly. Every week he'd empty his phone of a million voicemail, having avoided everyone possible. Invitations denied. Calls rejected. The only one let in being Canada

And even that was sometimes revoked.

"Alfred, I swear I'd-""GO AWAY. MATT!"

"I HATE YOU YOU PRESENCE-LESS BASTARD!"

"YOU HOCKEY OBSESSED ASSHOLE!"

"YOU FORGETTABLE CUNT!"

Matthew sat there, knowing what Alfred was doing. They'd played this game before.

Alfred would lock himself in the bathroom, and hurl horrific insults at him. All so he'd leave him alone.

Always thinking himself a burden on Matthew hence trying to piss him off so his brother would forget him.

Canada just sat outside, legs crossed, saying things like "its okay", "you're not a burden" and more.

Canada would sometimes sit for hours just waiting. Not upset. Arms open wide for the hug he'd usually receive afterwards. 

* * *

**Year 3**

It took 3 years for Alfred to fall asleep without the aid of medication. Matthew remembered the day exactly.

It'd only been a mere 30 minute long nap but he reacted like a kid on Christmas jumping up and down before calling Lithuania up and describing it like it was some massive feat.

"Hey Tolys!" America rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet. 

This had been the first ever phone call Al made that hadn't been him. It'd been 3 years since then, the other nations being very understanding luckily.

"Alfred?!" Tolys hadn't expected this. 

"I slept for 30 minutes! 30! Uninterrupted and by my own willpower!"

Matthew heard Toly's congratulations and remembered to somehow pay him back as he listened to Alfred explain it like an action film.

“THEN! Then my eyes slowly shut! And I was worried but *BANG* they shut! And I slept 30 minutes! Did I tell you it was 30 minutes!!”

Others would think it silly to celebrate something so small but after what'd happened, anytime Alfred could even get a millimeter back to normalcy was like the first time man landed on the moon.

Matthew smiled even after he’d been told the story three times that day. He was glad to see light returning to his brother’s eyes.

* * *

**Year 5**

Alfred felt like his head was gonna explode. 

Every step, making it worse. 

_ I need to do this. I need to do this. _

He kept repeating in his brain. He then saw he was up next. He wished he had more time that he could just give up. Convince himself that this was stupid and meant absolutely nothing in the long run. 

_ No! I can do this. _

He felt his breath hitch as he put the thing he'd been clutching to his chest on the conveyor belt. 

_ No turning back now. _

Alfred hunched in on himself as it suddenly felt like all the air had been sucked out the room. He could almost hear them.

The nine of them, storming him for the stupid thing he was about to do. 

He pulled out his wallet as the cashier looked at him with concern as he shakingly handed her the card. 

_ Why is this so hard! I do this once every two weeks!  _

He knew why it was different though. For the first time in 5 years he was buying something for fun. Not an essential nor something for work or something like this.

This was purely for his enjoyment, a PS4, and that scared the fuck out of him.

But he couldn’t back down, he had to push through it, despite nearly throwing up as the cashier swiped the plastic card.

He could feel Russia coming.

Coming to choke him out. Render him helpless again.

Punish him again.

Do-"Have a good day!" 

Alfred blinked before realizing he'd been given back his card and his purchase.

He mechanically walked towards Matthew who'd been waiting just past checkout.

"I...I did it. I-I-I bought it and...nothing happened. " America looked stunned, checking his surroundings.

He was waiting for them to show but they hadn’t! No one had come!

"See! You can buy something occasionally for fun." Matthew pat his brother on the back.

Alfred stared at the receipt the whole way home and even framed it. Using the one frame that'd previously held a picture of him and Britain, who'd been dragged reluctantly fishing.

They gorged themselves on McDonald's that night and for three days straight up after to celebrate!

* * *

**Year 7**

Alfred stared at the jacket. His original jacket.

The one he hadn't touched ever since “the incident”. 

He'd avoided touching it. Sometimes he even avoided looking at it.

He reached out to grab it and it felt like he was reaching over a cavern full of fire. His hands stung like a demon being sprinkled with holy water.

  
  
  


_ No! I am not filthy.  _

_ I am not guilty. _

_ I AM NOT A SLUT. _

_ I AM AMERICA! _

America ripped the jacket off the hanger and slid it on before he could doubt himself.

* * *

Matthew was drinking coffee on the porch when the door was kicked open. 

"Al?"

Alfred drugted the previous jacket, the one he'd been wearing since he deemed himself unworthy, weak, and, filthy through the mud. Before slamming it into the fire pit and setting it ablaze.

"Al…?" Matthew said after his twin had just stared into the fire. Way too long a time, saying nothing. He worried something had happened while he'd been relaxing.

"I hate knockoffs." Alfred suddenly said

Matthew stayed quiet, just listening.

"And when the artists do those shitty redesigns of the heroes.  ***sniff*** "

The jacket he'd been using as a safety blanket crackled and burned.

"Gotta practice what I preach." He turned and gave Matthew a giant, teary eyed smile. Popping his collar before shooting him a thumbs up.

"The h-h-hero is back!  ***hic*** " a happy tear ran down his cheek

Matt joined Al at the pit, putting an arm over his shoulder, pulling him into a hug.

"Ya never left you hoser."

The two of them and Tony enjoyed roasting marshmallows over said fire, not giving a damn it was 10 a.m.

* * *

**10 years later…**

"And then we build a giant laser to project a symbol at any area at any time that'll contact the Superhero and he'll fix everything!" 

Alfred then took a giant bite out of one of the hamburgers he was double fisting. 

Everyone sweat dropped before Poland asked if he had any other solution. 

With a sigh America pulled up his second plan, the more physically possible/ sensible plan B. "you always want the boring solutions! Okay! We.."

The rest got lost as Canada focused on other things like how weird yet...right everything felt.

In the last decade so much had happened. 

And sure Alfred had his bad days and moments of relapse but one thing for sure.

he'd always be there cause sometimes a hero needs a hero.

  
  
  



End file.
